Have you ever noticed how some parents seem to make it look so easy? Mom has a three-month old at home, yet her nails are always done and she has clearly not missed a single yoga session or brunch with the girls. Dad's golf handicap is still under 10, and he has no discernible bags under his eyes. Meanwhile, your socks haven't matched in 3 weeks, and you no longer need an alarm clock, because that would assume you ever sleep. You might wonder to yourself, "are those parents just way better than me?"
The answer is yes. Take a look in the mirror. Statistically speaking, you have a 50% chance of being in the bottom half of all parents. That means, in all likelihood, there are literally millions of parents who are better at this than you. It's a sobering fact, but it's true. Don't even try to argue with me, because chances are, you aren't a statistician. The good news is that it's not all bad. The authorities have set the bar very low as to what you have to do before they will take away your baby. I mean, there are some truly awful parents out there who don't even come close to losing their kids. That should be reassuring. Furthermore, it's not really even your fault. Your parents made you the way you are. If your model for a parent was a total shit-show, then it stands to reason that you're destined to also be a shit-show as a parent. So when you look at your neighbors and see how well they are coping with parenthood, it doesn't matter that they have 3 nannies and a live in mother-in-law helping out. It is far more likely that they are simply way better people than you are. But you can breathe easy, because the state doesn't want to take your baby away unless it absolutely must. Taking care of her is not in the state's budget. And one day, she will turn 18, at which point she is not your problem any more.
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AuthorAlthough I am not a recognized authority on child care, I expect to be recognized soon. Keep an eye on this space for news on that front. Meanwhile, feel free to soak up all of my sage advice on raising children. Archives
December 2018
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